Consider all our hands do in one day while being with children. We wipe faces, noses, change nappies, pick children up, place children down, rub backs, dress, place on bibs, do hair, put hats on heads and shoes on feet, just to name a few. We can all get caught up in the busy-ness of our day and forget to consider how our actions are impacting others, without even saying a word… just with our hands! Hands do not lie.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, rushed, stressed, impatient or frustrated your hands will speak this loudly, through hurriedly completing tasks, scooping children up, or moving children along. When we mindfully slow down our pace and our responses, we bring a peacefulness and a gentleness to our interactions with children.
When we move slowly and are unhurried, our hands also mimic this slowness and patience. Bringing awareness to ourselves and our way of ‘being’ with children in every little moment of our day, we understand the impact our actions are having on others and how powerful our non-verbal communication is.
Offering our hands as an invitation for children to partner with us in an interaction sends the message non-verbally and verbally, ”Do you want me to pick you up?”
Then we pause. Always a pause.
Allowing the child to let us know what they need; this could be seen as reaching out their hands, excited legs kicking, turning towards you, or smiling and if you notice turning or looking away, this may indicate the child is not wanting or ready to be picked up at that moment. Acknowledging their response, shows them we are listening and value their involvement.
“Oh it looks like you aren’t ready to be picked up yet” Following with “I’ll come back soon to see if you’re ready.” And then returning after some time. “It’s time to change your nappy now, would you like to be carried or walk to the bathroom?” The more involved and invited in children are within the partnership, the more reciprocal and of course enjoyable the partnership will be.
“Hands constitute the infant’s first connection to the world… Hands pick her up, lay her down, wash and dress and maybe even feed her. How different it can be, what a different picture of the world an infant receives when quiet, patient, careful yet secure and resolute hands take care of her – and how different the world seems when these hands are impatient, rough and hasty, unquiet and nervous. In the beginning, hands are everything to the infant. The hands are the person, the world.”
~ Dr Emmi Pikler
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